Ten Commandments of Homeschooling

Back in 2006, I found these "Ten Commandments of Homeschooling" from a homeschooling mother of six. I used these as a basis for a talk for OLG parents that year. It follows the theme of Kathy's last blog about the things we do/don't do during our homeschooling journey.

The majority of us all start off our homeschool journey the same way. You look at the seasoned moms and put them on way too high of a pedal-stool. You want to know all of the things that work for them and how they do everything. Of course, human nature kicks in, and those seasoned moms share all about the great and wonderful things they are doing. All of us are more than willing to share how great our homeschooling is with a new homeschool family. I mean, why would we want to discourage them?

We learn by imitation so.......You go home and try it and it is overwhelming!

Maybe, if we all started by asking them about the troubles and problems they have, we'd be able to keep it all in reality: Homeschooling is challenging for us ALL!

So here are the commandments. I have to try every day to keep these and honestly, I never have complete success.

I am the Lord your God, Thou shall have no other curriculum before Me.
Every homeschooler wants to find the perfect curriculum. The Holy Bible is the best one around. Best of all most of us already own it.

Thou shall not make a graven image of the perfect homeschool family.
There is no perfect homeschool family. We all have sinned a fall short of the glory of God.

Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy.
Don't be a slave to your duties. Take time to rest and enjoy your children and husband.

Honor your father and mother
Even if your parents are not believers or supportive of homeschooling, honor them. It isn't easy, but the example you set now will pay dividends down the road. If they are deceased talk often of your parents and build bridges from the past to the future.

Thou shall not destroy thy children's spirits
Keep a tender eye toward their heart to make sure that their relationships with the Lord, you, and each other remain strong.

Thou shall not compare yourself one to another
Trust me, you'll always come up short and discontent.

Thou shall not commit "adultery"
Stop cheating your husband of the respect he desires by comparing him to other homeschooling dads, speakers, or authors; and then wishing your husband would be different. Love the man you married not the perfect image in your mind.

Thou shall not boast about your accomplishments.
Scripture says, "Let another praise you and not your own lips." The fruit of your work will be raising a generation of servants for the Lord. And the best reward will be when you stand before His throne and He boasts, "Well done my good and faithful servant. Enter now into the joy of my rest."

Thou shall encourage other families to good deeds not judge one another harshly
We all make mistakes and have things we wished we had done differently. Seek to find ways to build one another up not tear each other down.

Thou shall not steal the joy of your family
The joy of the Lord shall be your strength. As you delight in the Lord your household will become delightful as well.

Enjoy,

Angelle

Comparing Notes (and Everything Else)

My first year in this bizarre group of ours, I was only homeschooling a second grader. One who did very well in school, so I was in the honeymoon stage of it all. Then, when we returned to homeschooling after our year break, I was suddenly homeschooling f-i-v-e, and all of them were in the elementary level. Plus, not all of them were the independent learners my oldest had been. It was hard. I was looking for an escape hatch.

So I started asking questions of you all. What curriculum do you like? How do you teach multiple children? Who does you hair? And I started to copycat what I thought would work for me. Some things really helped me. I think we all need to get help from one another, which is part of why this group exists.  But I'd like to talk about what did not help. It's important. And part of my homeschooling therapy, so please indulge me.

In my haste to become the perfect mother, I looked to some of our veteran moms as seemingly doing all of it right. "If only I could get my act together like she does" was my motto. I took opportunities in conversation to stalk interview them to get ideas. They were very accommodating, but I found that although many ideas worked, not all were the magic fairy dust they seemed to be in someone else's hands.

I had to see that I was raising my sweathogs children, and other families often had a different dynamic from mine. I was an uptight, strung out, Type-A person (I say "was" as if that has changed), and you may have been a relaxed, unfettered, drink-grape-juice-on-the-sofa mom. I had the kids, husband, and life that God gave me. PLUS, after becoming actual friends with you, I saw how you struggled just like I did. I also didn't see that you had personal crosses I never saw, like an aging parent or a child with learning difficulties.

After being at this now for awhile, I finally got my homeschool groove and became better at discerning what to obsess about and what I knew would work itself out over time. So the first time someone came up to me and told me how much they thought I had my act together and wanted my advice, a light bulb went off. I felt like an idiot for putting my friends on those pedestals! I never thought anyone was doing that with me, but I used the opportunity, as I have since, to let them know how we all struggle with our decisions, and that the things we do today in our homes, change as our children do. I also tell them that I screw up as often as I change out the laundry. I am an expert at knowing what not to do!

I still ask for advice and I still offer my opinion, but now I feel confident in my own homeschooling decisions, even if that means chunking something that's not working and starting over. I've begun new curriculum, some pricey, and have tossed it out by October only to start over, because it wasn't working, rather that pursuing a program that didn't meet my needs. It's also helped me not to feel pressure to attend every field trip or activity offered through our school. I have to remember our own family's mission and why I am homeschooling. I am so thankful for this group and am not sure how this would all play out without my having you here to lean on, complain to, cry with.  But, I also have to remember that my homeschool is mine and I am doing this on my own and am accountable to my family alone. Comparing notes can lead you to great resources for your family and support in your own concerns, but getting lost in comparison can steal your joy and take away all the individual successes and failures that God has in store for your homeschool and family.

Encourage one another.  Pray.  Act with confidence.
Then come tell me how you did it!