To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool

Every so often I get into a friendly debate with a friend who is a non-homeschooling-non-stay-at-home mom, and we compare our struggles.  It ends up like a series of tic-tac-toe games. There's never a winner. Parenting is hard. And dynamic.  And challenging. And about a thousand other adjectives. What it isn't, is clearly defined.

As someone who's had her kids in regular, Catholic school, both before and after I've experienced homeschooling, I've lived this flip sided lifestyle, working part time while my kids attended traditional school. At the end of the year, I still had most of my hair, but it wasn't pretty. When a friend says to me, "I could never homeschool my kids, I really admire you for being so committed". I think, "Oh, I'm committed alright, or at least I should be!" But I also tell them how I could never do what they do, mostly because I am selfish.  And, that I am not called by God in the same way they might be.  Let me explain.

There were a number of personal reasons that led to our decision to homeschool, but "the daily grind" was the nail in the coffin for traditional school.  I never could really make it work, peacefully.  Typically, I'd get up, and do everything you already do but much earlier (and on the clock), you know, dress, feed the kids. But you also have to find all their uniforms and book bags, make and gather lunches, and collect assignments from the night before.  And by the time I was pulling away from the school and my kids, I'd often have a pit in my stomach, as if we'd had a "drive by" morning.  Aside from our regular prayers on the way to school, I rarely had any time to check in on each of them to see how their day was starting out.

Then they're gone, all day, doing school "stuff". The thing is though, when I'd pick them up, there would be a whole batch of assignments waiting for me them in their book bags. This was one of my major hiccups ...homework.
Homework in kindergarten. Homework from books you didn't have at home to reference (this was before my epiphany of buying teacher manuals).   Homework that often didn't make sense to me that they had to do.  It was a thief of my time with my children and I hated it.

Evenings were spent rushing through dinner, math problems & spelling words, and baths and then by their bedtime, it was time to launder the uniforms, get the book bags and lunch boxes ready again, and probably finish off with some Excedrin! Our family time was non-existent. I was unhappy. I felt like all I was doing was going through the motions of motherhood.

Now (here's my disclaimer), I have never thought that homeschooling is for everyone, because it's not!  God calls us each to a place He wills for us. Guy and I felt we were called to homeschool from the beginning of our marriage. Even before children, even though we knew no one who lived this weird lifestyle, we felt led in this direction.  There would always be something about homeschooling that would pop up.  We'd change the channel and someone would be discussing it.  I'd be at the doctor's office and open a magazine and see an article about it.  This strangely rebellious, academic lifestyle seemed to be God's plan for our family.  So it was no surprise, that when we pulled away from our natural inclination to do so, and put them in school, it was difficult for us. It presented problems we couldn't solve and situations which, we could not accept.  Just as it is, anytime we pull away from what God has planned for us. But, if we stay on the path God has provided us, we are encouraged to continue.

Making any decision, like deciding to homeschool, put your children in traditional school, or even to stop homeschooling, can be a little scary or confusing.  But knowing that God already has His plans for you, should make it clear that praying about it first, then weighing your options and consequences, will bring you peace in doing what is right for your family in doing His will.   As for me, when I'm asked how long I'll homeschool, I always say, "For as long as it works for my family".  After what I've seen God do in our lives, I feel like homeschooling is part of who we are, and I can't imagine doing this any other way.

Peace,